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Freaky Friday Part 2

The wonderful world of BDSM has lots of new things to learn and one of the biggest things I think to get your head around is if you want to enter into a contract and what exactly does it entail?

Firstly, I would like to point out that any Sub/Dom contract is not legally binding but it is a good way of discussing boundaries and establishing limits.

What should be included in a BDSM contract?

The term – how will the arrangement last?

Responsibilities of each party –

Rights of each party

Ability to end the dynamic by either party

Soft Limits

Hard Limits



Privacy and confidentiality

Areas of control

Understanding as to exclusivity

Safe words

Ability to alter the terms

Necessary legal declarations

The importance of having a dominant and submissive contract is important for safety, both emotionally and physically. By establishing ground rules, each partner knows what’s expected of them. It also makes issues of consent, which is crucial when power exchange and pain are involved crystal clear.

Starting to negotiate your contract is exciting and starts the building blocks of your relationship, it also gives you the opportunity to say what you like/dislike and what you are willing to try and what is a definite no. If you are wondering what some of the BDSM lingo is about or recommendations for femdom dating sites, please see our helpful guide.

Soft limits:
These are things that the sub maybe interested in but is hesitant about exploring.  You cannot assume that just because someone has agreed to be a submissive that they are OK with everything. The boundaries of soft limits are flexible as the Dom sees fit and the submissive agrees to push and expand slowly.  However, once something has been decided upon (hopefully in a contract) it can be freely asked or demanded- some examples are being blindfolded, wax play, and bondage with tapes/ties.

Another soft limit is the tolerance to receiving pain, light bruises might be acceptable but permanent scars may not be agreeable.

The idea of the contract is to discuss what types of pain, punishments, and discipline are allowed, and the intensity and severity of each.

Hard limits:

Both parties need to specify what they won’t do, and completely respect it.  Examples could be things like: choking, electro play and suspension play. Doms can have boundaries too and this should be added into the contract.  The point is that no one should be pressured to do something that they are uncomfortable with.

Limits can change over time but should be discussed and agreed to before any action taking place. 

There are lots of online resources that will tell you more about limits and I always find Wikipedia a great source and here is more information that I think you will find helpful. 

The most important thing is to do your research,  have fun, be safe and enjoy this exciting new world.

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Posted by: Sarah Dixon | Posted on: November 12, 2020 | Posted in: MAMA

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