With 2020 being lets call it “different” many people are thinking about 2021 and exploring new things, perhaps taking more of an interest in their sexual “to do” list, as lets face it we didn’t get out much last year.
BDSM is a highly thought about and many people don’t want to dip their toe into the murky water, however you don’t need to dive straight in. A good start is to visit an informative fetish site and start to learn more about what it is about- as TV doesn’t do it justice, forget 50 shades of grey and 365 days, it is much more than that.
With plenty of time on our hands and an internet full of information, what are the top things I things you should learn:
It’s not just about whips, chains and pain!
BDSM is often misjudged and seen by those who haven’t experienced it as purely pain and hitting people with whips whilst they are tied up but in reality domination and submission is not fundamentally about pain. You can certainly mix pain in if that’s what you’re into, but domination and submission is about control and who has it and how much, not about just hitting people with stuff.
A Dom is not always in control
This is often a misconception as before commitment the control lies with the submissive party, at commitment the control is passed to the dominant with limitations, during the learning phase the dominant breaks down the limits and more control is given by the submissive.
Once a relationship is established TPE (Total Exchange Power) is given to the dominant.
There should be after-care
Aftercare is a very important part of BDSM. It allows you and your partner to debrief after your session and aftercare varies couple to couple and can depend on the intensity of the session.
Aftercare can be generally put into two categories: physical and emotional. Physical aftercare includes things such as helping remove any paraphernalia like restraints or blindfolds, getting your partner something to eat or drink as blood sugar levels can drop suddenly, providing a blanket or warm clothing, kissing or caressing any part of their body, or specifically to area that may have been marked during play, or providing affection and comfort in a quiet place.
Emotional aftercare involves discussing what happened and how you both felt about it, good and bad, which is important for ensuring that you both understand each other’s needs. You also may want to give your partner reassurances about their kink, reminding them that nothing they did or enjoyed makes them weird, dirty or different.
When the lockdown is finally over, You could always visit a local mistress who will help you discover the wonderful world that is DBSM in a safe, controlled environment.
You don’t have to worry about the session as everything will be discussed before you arrive or start the session and remember they are pro’s and do this for a living, so you can rest assured that you will be in safe hands.
I would recommend that you visit websites both general and specialised and gain as much information as possible, not only will this give you more of an insight but gives you some light relief from working at home.
Posted by: Sarah Dixon | Posted on: January 10, 2021 | Posted in: MAMA